“An Inconvenient Beer - 7/7/07”
While brewing Sunday we played music from acts that performed “Live Earth” (Spinal Tap, Paul Kelly, and Red Hot Chili Peppers) on 7/7/07. We discussed the crisis of Mother Planet Earth and our impending doom.
Several useless idiots celebrities flew in for Live Earth on private jets (One hour in a Gulfstream jet burns as much fuel as driving a family car for a year), to tell us to not consume or pollute; including Dave “my tour bus dumps human waste into the Chicago River” Matthews. 1.2 Billion people were guessed to have viewed the concerts. Dr Andrea Collins, an expert in sustainability from Cardiff University, has researched the impact of such mass gatherings on the environment. Dr Collins estimates that the global audience for Live Earth will generate some 1,025 tonnes of waste.
What did we do to save Mother Planet Earth?
I measured all my water out the night before, so no propane would be used to heat the water to ambient (my well is about 42°F). We recycled all bottles and cans during the brew, Kalenborg plans to reuse bottles for his beer. Carpooling was encouraged. We homebrewed so we didn’t have to ship beer from Belgium. All lighting was provided either by sunlight or Compact Florescent Lights. All wort cooling water was pumped into the garden.
We looked up facts!
Records of atmospheric CO2 since 1940 show a continuing increase, but global temperature decreased until 1975, and increased since. The total concentration of carbon dioxide in the Earth's atmosphere is 0.038% (making it a mere trace element). Solar activity is extremely high currently, and is directly linked to changes in global temperature. Solar activity is far more influential on global warming and cooling than any other man-made or natural activity on Earth. Shit, leave the light on and just buy another carbon offset credit like Al “I invented the Internet” Gore.
With all of this information we decided all donations collected during “An Inconvenient Brewing” will be used to stop the true cause of global warming: The Sun. All funds were allocated towards the purchase of fire extinguishers that would be sent on a future shuttle mission and shot at the sun to cool it down to slow our gobal warming. Alas, we collect a damn cent! I plan set up a non-profit organization to sell carbon offset credits to promote home-brewing as a way to save energy by not having to transport beer around the world as much.